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169 - Growing up with a Trans Parent, with Emma Thomas from Children of Transitioners

My dad said to me "I have a woman's brain in a man's body."

Sasha and Stella warmly welcome Emma Thomas to the show highlighting her significant role as an advocate for children of transitioners. Emma’s father is a transsexual who transitioned in the 1980s while he had custody of her. In this conversation, she shares her experiences and the story behind her website, and the X account @childrenoftrans where she writes and campaigns on behalf of children of trans people, highlighting a lack of safeguarding and exploring the experiences of children of transitioners.

In this episode, Emma narrates her tumultuous childhood, her father’s transition to living as a woman, and the subsequent societal and familial dynamics that profoundly impacted her. She candidly describes the bizarre and challenging experiences of growing up with a father deeply involved in the transsexual community, exacerbated by a lack of adult intervention. Reflecting on her journey of self-discovery in adulthood, Emma discusses her mission to advocate for children of transitioners and shed light on their experiences.

The conversation explores:

  • The behaviors and impacts of narcissistic individuals within familial relationships.

  • Treatment approaches for narcissistic tendencies.

  • Coping strategies for those impacted by narcissistic personality dynamics.

  • Autogynephilia - ranging from its clinical relevance and treatment approaches to its societal and policy implications within the transgender healthcare context.

  • Ethical implications of medical treatments like testosterone during pregnancy, or medically induced lactation for men - “chestfeeding”

  • The protection and well-being of young individuals in potentially contentious or over-sexualized environments

  • Public perceptions and political influences shaping societal views and policies on transgender issues.

  • The sexual motivations behind certain transgender behaviors.

Resources & Links

Children of Transitioners

@childrenoftrans on X

When Dealing With a Narcissist, the “Gray Rock” Approach Might Help: Acting dull and uninteresting can undermine a narcissist’s attempts to control.

Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

Trans woman activist…posts image of her breastfeeding her child - and says she only stopped after she had 'cancer relapse'

Safeguarding Concerns in the NHS

The Bigger Picture Conference 2024 - 'Reframing the Future' Lisbon, Portugal | 27th - 29th September 2024

The Killarney Group

Check out Emma’s recommendations:

Behind The Looking Glass - Teaser - Lime Soda Films Feature-Length Documentary (film by Vaishnavi Sundar)

The Wrong Side of His Story: Reviewing ‘Rough Draft’ by Katy Tur

Sex Changes: A Memoir of Marriage, Gender, and Moving, by Christine Benvenuto

Sister in Law: Fighting for Justice in a System Designed by Men, Harriet Wistrich

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Therapy First

Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more.