Sasha and Stella welcome Jessi, a 69-year-old detransitioned butch lesbian, who shares her extraordinary life story. Jessi’s journey challenges misconceptions about detransitioners, confronting the common assumption that they are predominantly young people who transitioned in adolescence. Instead, her experiences shine a light on older individuals who made these life-altering decisions in vastly different cultural and social contexts. Her life as a gay rights advocate, shaped by threats and hardships, reveals the complexities behind her decision to transition during a time when living openly as a lesbian carried significant risks.
Jessi describes herself as a Butch Dyke, and is a proud mother, grandmother, LandDyke, and lifelong advocate for gay rights. In this episode, Jessi shares how, in the 1980’s, she transitioned not out of a deep desire to become a man but as a a survival strategy to protect herself from the dangers of living openly as a lesbian in a society marked by pervasive prejudice and homophobic hostility. While she does not take pride in the decision, she stands by her reasons, having endured immense mental, physical, and spiritual challenges along the way.
The conversation reflects on the challenges Jessi faced while living as a stealth transgender man in the 1980’s, including her experiences in the male-dominated trucking industry. As a five-foot man navigating this dangerous and high-risk world, Jessi shares how the constant fear of being outed affected her sense of safety and identity. The discussion also explores the ripple effects of Jessi's decision to transition (and later detransition) on her family, emphasizing how these decisions are not made in isolation but indeed involve deep emotional and relational considerations. Inspired by other detransitioners’ stories, Jessi ultimately found the courage to reclaim her identity in retirement, offering a testament to resilience and self-discovery.
This episode offers a compelling exploration of the varied paths of detransitioners, and provides a thoughtful reflection on the broader social and psychological complexities of navigating life outside traditional gender norms.
Resources & Links
Growing up with a Trans Parent, with Emma Thomas from Children of Transitioners
The Detransitioners: They Were Transgender, Until They Weren't, Katie Herzog (The Stranger)
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