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Programming note: Given the engaging progression of this discussion, we opted not to interrupt or redirect the conversation in another direction for the sake of capturing premium content. We are releasing the full conversation as a special extended episode in lieu of offering a bonus episode this week.

Stella and Sasha welcome author and podcaster, Phil Illy, to the show for a thought-provoking conversation on sexuality, identity, and self-understanding. They engage with Phil’s concept of auto-heterosexuality, explore his interpretation of "erotic target identity inversion," and examine how these theories relate to broader discussions around sexuality and identity. As the discussion evolves, Stella and Sasha offer their critiques and challenge Phil's framework, pushing for a deeper understanding of these complex concepts.

Phil Illy is the author of Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex, a provocative exploration of sexuality, identity, and gender. In his book, Phil introduces the concept of auto-heterosexuality, describing an attraction to oneself as the opposite sex, and expands upon theories such as "erotic target identity inversion," originally coined by Dr. Ray Blanchard. With a focus on unconventional sexual interests and their psychological underpinnings, Phil's work challenges conventional frameworks and evokes critical examination into the complexities of desire, identity, and human behavior. In addition to his book, Phil is also the host of the Autohetero Files podcast, where he platforms personal stories and discussions that resonate with the ideas and concepts explored in his work.

In this episode, listeners can expect to hear a dynamic and often intense conversation, with Stella and Sasha asking difficult questions and exploring the psychological and relational implications of the ideas Phil presents. They dig into both the intellectual and emotional dimensions of the topics at hand. Whether you agree or disagree with the perspectives shared, this episode will leave you with plenty to consider, exploring the deeper questions surrounding identity, desire, and the psychological aspects of sexual behavior.

Resources & Links

@autogynephil on X

on Substack

@phililly on YouTube


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Therapy First

Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more.