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192 - Paving a Way Back for Detrans Lesbians, with Aaron Kimberly

"Dismantling youth gender medicine needs to be coupled with a strong pro-gay message."

Sasha and Stella welcome Aaron Kimberly back to the show, nearly a year after her first appearance on the podcast. Aaron has undergone a remarkable transformation, returning to her female identity and embracing a new understanding and acceptance of herself. This episode delves into Aaron’s complex journey of self-discovery, shaped by her unique experiences with a rare ovotesticular disorder of sex development (DSD), her longstanding identity as a butch lesbian, and the medical, professional, and social experiences that have shaped her path.

Aaron Kimberly was born female with a rare ovotesticular disorder, discovered at age 19, characterized by the presence of both ovarian and testicular tissues in the same individual. Ovotesticular disorders of sex development (DSD) typically involve undescended gonads and underdeveloped sex organs, with sex assignment often based on the appearance of external genitalia. Due to a high degree of masculinization, many females with this condition seek legal reassignment to male as adults. Aaron pursued this path, and while she never denied the material reality of being a female, she is embracing her existence as a gender-nonconforming, same-sex attracted butch lesbian once again.

Having lived with this condition and within lesbian communities, Aaron has developed a deep interest in the diverse reasons individuals may be sex non-conforming and the cultural contexts that shape perceptions of these experiences - too often leaving, gay, lesbian, and individuals with atypical bodies live with a sense of shame and isolation.

With extensive experience in mental health nursing, Aaron has served in clinical supervision and as an instructor at Brandon University’s School of Psychiatric Nursing. Since 2019, she has advised on gender dysphoria as a subject matter expert, advising individuals, educators, clinicians, policymakers, law firms, and faith communities.

In this episode, Aaron examines the role of the butch lesbian community that once fostered a vital sense of belonging—a community that, as she remarks, has largely faded, leaving young butch lesbians with limited support. She suggests that this shift might be contributing to the increased rates of medical transition among younger lesbians today. Her deep commitment to understanding the diverse reasons for sex non-conformity, coupled with her involvement in lesbian communities, has cultivated her interest in the cultural contexts of gender and atypical bodies, often pathologized or medicalized in society.

She also makes reference to her recent experiment, using TikTok filters to visually reconnect with her younger, 'pre-transition' self—creating a virtual dialogue that bridges past and present. This unique social media project has allowed her to explore how her identity has evolved, while fostering a sense of healing and self-acceptance across the years.

This is an incredibly compelling conversation reflecting on the evolving relationship between lesbian identity, butch identity, and the implications of a medicalized appearance. The complex intersection of self-perception, cultural expectations, and the influence of medical interventions on gender presentation raises important questions about authenticity, community belonging, and the ways in which societal norms shape the identities of gender non-conforming individuals.

Resources & Links

@Aaron_GDAC on X

Learn more about Aaron

The Bearded Lesbian, Substack publication

TikTok Internal Family Therapy


Aaron’s prior appearance on Gender: A Wider Lens


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Therapy First

Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more.