103 — Follow the Gender-brick Road: from Bi to Pan to Trans

Many young people who first claim to be bisexual will later identify as pansexual and then trans. Sasha and Stella discuss this common but contemporary pathway to trans identification and analyze why this might be happening and what it could mean subconsciously. They offer parents some ideas for how to engage their child during this time of exploration.

Sasha and Stella both have parent coaching membership sites that offer an expansive catalog of resources curated to support and empower parents of gender-questioning teens and young adults. Depending on the membership level, you have access to full-length in-depth topic videos, articles, book recommendations, and live Q&A sessions.

Links:

Sasha Ayad’s Parent Coaching Membership Group (SubscribeStar)

https://www.subscribestar.com/sashalpc

Stella O’Malley’s Parent Coaching Membership Group (Substack)

https://stellaomalley.substack.com/

Sasha & Stella’s Conversation with Helena:

• Helena Part I: Social Justice, Fandoms & FTM Gay Boys

• Helena Part II: Advice for Parents from a Former Trans Kid

Sasha & Stella's Conversation w/ Lisa Duval

Upcoming GETA Webinars

https://genderexploratory.com/events/

Albert Ellis’s REPT philosophies, and The Three Basic Musts

https://www.rebtnetwork.org/whatis.html

If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:

Episode 1 — Trans: Identity vs Dysphoria

Episode 2 — Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria

Episode 32 — Stereotypes

Episode 35 — Communicating About Gender: Translating Between Parent & Child

Episode 39 — Nonbinary Identities

Episode 42 — ROGD & The Struggle to Grow Up

Please visit http://www.widerlenspod.com to explore more content, access additional resources, or join our listener community.

To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

https://rethinkime.org/

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Extended Notes

• Stella and Sasha discuss the book and the writing process.

• The correlation between eating disorders and gender dysphoria.

• Children test the waters of gender identity as they sexualize.

• Sasha and Stella attempt to define terms related to sexual and gender identity.

• Children can feel overwhelmed by the pressure to decide on a sexual identity label.

• Is the gender identity conversation the latest fad for children to help them individuate and separate?

• Non-binary and asexual can be identities some children use to protect themselves.

• Stella and Sasha hit on how parental boundaries have changed with the mass acceptance of multiple gender identities.

• Boundaries and limits offer stability in life and stability is important.

• Sasha offers a phrase for parents to use when children voice their gender choices.

Quotes:

“Eating disorders have a lot of similarities to gender dysphoria in that they desexualize the body.” — Sasha [7:11]

“Calling yourself asexual kind of gets you this freedom to opt out of the

entire game.” — Sasha [22:55]

“For some kids, gender dysphoria is a proud label they wear. For other kids it is very painful.” —

Sasha [29:09]

“Kids want to push against something and they have nothing to push against.” — Stella [40:40]