Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
45 - Helena Part 1: Social Justice, Fandoms & FtM Gay Boys

45 - Helena Part 1: Social Justice, Fandoms & FtM Gay Boys


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This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation with Helena. She is a 23-year-old detransitioned woman, well-known on Twitter and YouTube for her insights into the FtM trans kid mindset. The self-described “gender apostate” shares her thoughts on ROGD’s relationship with critical social justice, fandom culture, “shipping,” and the extraordinary fascination many teenage girls have with young gay men.


Helena on Twitter:

Extended Notes:

  • Helena is a detransitioned woman. She identified as a transgender man at 15, but by 19, she wanted to become a woman again.

  • A little bit about Helena and her detransition journey.

  • Before Helena started testosterone, she had this fantasy that not being female would be amazing. Helena was very isolated in her journey. Her ex, also a trans person, was against her detransitioning.

  • As she was on this journey as a man, she was so tired of pretending to be masculine and wearing clothes that didn’t fit her body.

  • What was it like psychologically to suppress Helena’s feminine side for so long?

  • Has social justice affected or played a role in trans identity?

  • Helena remembers reading things like, if you feel different than everybody else, it probably means you're trans.

  • Teenagers are biologically more sensitive to social rejection from their peers, and they’ll do anything to fit in and belong.

  • Whenever Helena was questioned about her new identity, she just thought they were just stuck in old beliefs and just wouldn’t listen.

  • Helena explains what a trans medicalist is and shares her thoughts on the difference between non-binary people and trans people.

  • What makes someone a cis girl or a cis boy or what really makes someone trans? The reasons are very superficial.

  • Cis allies are finding it difficult to be allies to the transgender community because they’re being told their opinions don’t count.

  • What is trans fandom all about? And what is “shipping” all about within this fandom culture?

  • A lot of these “shipping” content has sexual undertones of gay pairings of common fictional characters.

  • Growing up, it can get confusing. Men, that you’re basing your identity off of, are being written by teenage girls.

  • Let’s talk about Tumblr and how these trans mood boards all originated.

  • Helena remembers this internet time very fondly. She loved being on the “gay” side of the internet where it was all acceptable.

  • Helena wishes there was a way people can indulge in their sexuality in a non-threatening way, but she also understands that too much of it can lead down the wrong path where it creates dysphoria.

This podcast is partially sponsored by ReIME, Rethink Identity Medicine Ethics:

Learn more about our show:

Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
Therapists Stella O’Malley and Sasha Ayad explore diverse perspectives through a psychological lens, fostering open dialogue on gender identity, transition, and the transgender umbrella. Their work with gender dysphoric clients and unique experiences yield an informed outlook delving into gender's psychological nuances. Interviews with clinicians, academics, transgender individuals, parents, detransitioners, and others touched by gender provide varied insights and intimate inquiry into the taboo yet relevant topic.