When I was at boarding school in the early 70s, I would walk past the girls' dorm on my way to dinner every evening. The warm glow of the lights in the windows was so alluring. So were memories of the girls' perfume. Above all, I longed for the gentleness of female company in contrast to the noisy physicality of the boys who surrounded m…
When I was at boarding school in the early 70s, I would walk past the girls' dorm on my way to dinner every evening. The warm glow of the lights in the windows was so alluring. So were memories of the girls' perfume. Above all, I longed for the gentleness of female company in contrast to the noisy physicality of the boys who surrounded me in my dorm. They were crude and loud; the girls were more mature and soft spoken.
At no time did I ever mistake myself for a girl, however. How could I? Yes, I was a prodigious sissy as a little boy, but that was decades before trickster philosophers such as Judith Butler let gender identity ideology out of Pandora's Box. By the time I reached high school the sissy had disappeared. Also, the boy's dorm was not a hostile environment. I had a number of good friends there.
I now am well aware that what appealed to me about girls and their ways of living was a classic case of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. My perceptions were shaped by what I disliked about my teen male peers and their ways and not by the reality of teen girls' interpersonal lives. Specifically, I realize that my notions of female gentleness were a projection. In realty, as is widely known, teen girls can be just as unkind to one another as teen boys. It's just that their methods are different, social exclusion substituting for the regimen of insults and pranks that boys inflict on one another.
I will say that boarding school was the last time I counted girls among my friends. When I got to college I made the terrible mistake of joining a fraternity. Not only did I not share the group's values, I was gay and in the closet. I was completely unable to relate to the sorority women I met because it seemed to me that apart from academics (it was a highly selective university) they were focused on meeting and dating high-status men. I was not an obvious catch from their perspective. Being gay, I lacked my straight frat brothers' heterosexual drive to, well, go after women, to put not to fine a point on it.
So I look back on those glowing windows in the girls' dorm and the girls who were my friends at boarding school with saudades, bittersweet fondness.
With respect to recent phenomenon of ROGD boys, I fear that youth who would have grown into their gay sexual orientation before the advent of gender identity are having their natural sexuality erased or deeply suppressed. I hope that if they have gay male family members, they will help them see past the falsehoods of trans programming.
When I was at boarding school in the early 70s, I would walk past the girls' dorm on my way to dinner every evening. The warm glow of the lights in the windows was so alluring. So were memories of the girls' perfume. Above all, I longed for the gentleness of female company in contrast to the noisy physicality of the boys who surrounded me in my dorm. They were crude and loud; the girls were more mature and soft spoken.
At no time did I ever mistake myself for a girl, however. How could I? Yes, I was a prodigious sissy as a little boy, but that was decades before trickster philosophers such as Judith Butler let gender identity ideology out of Pandora's Box. By the time I reached high school the sissy had disappeared. Also, the boy's dorm was not a hostile environment. I had a number of good friends there.
I now am well aware that what appealed to me about girls and their ways of living was a classic case of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. My perceptions were shaped by what I disliked about my teen male peers and their ways and not by the reality of teen girls' interpersonal lives. Specifically, I realize that my notions of female gentleness were a projection. In realty, as is widely known, teen girls can be just as unkind to one another as teen boys. It's just that their methods are different, social exclusion substituting for the regimen of insults and pranks that boys inflict on one another.
I will say that boarding school was the last time I counted girls among my friends. When I got to college I made the terrible mistake of joining a fraternity. Not only did I not share the group's values, I was gay and in the closet. I was completely unable to relate to the sorority women I met because it seemed to me that apart from academics (it was a highly selective university) they were focused on meeting and dating high-status men. I was not an obvious catch from their perspective. Being gay, I lacked my straight frat brothers' heterosexual drive to, well, go after women, to put not to fine a point on it.
So I look back on those glowing windows in the girls' dorm and the girls who were my friends at boarding school with saudades, bittersweet fondness.
With respect to recent phenomenon of ROGD boys, I fear that youth who would have grown into their gay sexual orientation before the advent of gender identity are having their natural sexuality erased or deeply suppressed. I hope that if they have gay male family members, they will help them see past the falsehoods of trans programming.