Watch now | Dr. Az Hakeem discusses gender dysphoria, autistic thinking, queer theory, categories of trans ideation, AGP, his latest book DETRANS, practical communication strategies for parents, and more.
It was another fascinating discussion, thank you all.
Az's thoughts on autism are really interesting and I will have to listen again to fully grasp what he is positing and would be interesting on his thoughts on the subset of late teen/early twenty something young women that are calling themselves gay boys, medicalising and then entering the onlyfans world of 'sissy porn' and 'mascfem porn'. I think there are more of them than is really understood. Personally I feel there is something a little sinister about it as many of the cheerleaders are those older male transvestites' that Az has identified, that don't medicalise and for whom it is a purely sexual experience. Safeguarding these vulnerable young women has gone out the window.
I have just bought Dr Az Hakeem's book Detrans. I'm halfway through another book at the moment but as soon as I've finished it I will be getting stuck in.
These people are not changing into the other sex and I think many of them don't realize that until they've had so many changes that they are set up for a lifetime of medical complications.
A woman has a female reproductive system (unless she has had surgery or has some physical disorder), ovaries with eggs and a uterus to carry a child. Hormonal systems that cycle during the month, that change over the life cycle, different all sorts of things. The vagina is an entry way to that system, and the breasts are in part to feed the child. We have two sexes because there are two reproductive roles in our species. That is the point of the two sexes.
What a man who transitions gets is a pocket in the same location as a vagina, and breasts. Maybe that is what some men think women are? A man with stuff missing? (Oh, and estrogen. As if an injection will change their sex.) They don't get a vagina at all, just a facade. Because a man with his reproductive system removed is not a woman, even if they are removed creatively.
We can treat people who have done this socially as women, out of courtesy, but if you read many detransitioners' essays, some thought they were actually changing into women with these interventions. It's unbelievably sad when they figure it out.
Not gonna lie, I love watching the dynamic between ya'll!
In the late noughties and early 2010s, I noticed a lot of ideas that started as thought experiments like queer theory were applied in ways that the original writer likely never dreamed when they thought of it even if they went along for the ride. The big one I remember is Yes Means Yes and enthusiastic consent, which started reasonably with the observation that if women are shamed for wanting sex and can only consent to sex by putting up a fight (think the song "Baby It's Cold Outside"), then this is confusing to men who can't tell the difference between a no for the sake of appearances versus a real no and posited that the solution was to make it okay for women to say yes to sex without shaming them as sluts. It very quickly morphed into this unrealistic gold legal standard and I noticed a lot of young people would be disillusioned because they felt that getting consent meant their first time would be wonderful and the reality was more complicated. From my perspective a lot of the woke critical justice stuff originated in fandom communities with consisted of a lot of autistic individuals and then carried over to the larger population.
With regards to gay men and transmen, I have had female clients claiming a transmasc identity who are in relationships with men claiming a transwomen identity. I thought the men were AGP at first but I was later surprised to find that these men were gay and it became an issue because these couples were also poly. The men weren't having sex with my female clients because they said that getting an erection would trigger their dysphoria. But then the men would be able to have sex with another biological man and send my clients into sessions where they would struggle with jealousies they believed they weren't supposed to have because they were poly. I live in a very religiously conservative area where there is still a lot of shame and stigma around being gay, so I felt sorry for everyone involved even as I marveled at how completely bonkers these situations were.
Excellent episode. I liked the thought, "it is an 'over-valued idea’ which is relentlessly pursued by the individual.” I read the book, Detrans in which the quote came, and it was well worth my time. Another valuable part was the discussion of what happens when an autistic way of thinking meets queer theory. Thank you.
I think Dr Hakeem's views are great, they seem very logical and explain a lot, I think there's quite a cross over between autism and all the different types of trans.
Perfect for the autistic mind planning a new identity
I'm surprised organisations supporting autistic adults and children aren't more invested in the damage gender is doing to the people they claim to support and their families.
not sure about Sasha's being binary about "very autistic" and "not autistic". Because these are often young people, also, when they latched on to this idea.
And growing out of magical thinking, overvalued ideas, is also something even people on the spectrum can do. Young people grow out of a lot of things and these are mostly people who are not yet developmentally mature. What a lot of the people making these decisions understand about what is actually possible and what their choices are going to imply down the road...wouldn't fill a thimble.
It was another fascinating discussion, thank you all.
Az's thoughts on autism are really interesting and I will have to listen again to fully grasp what he is positing and would be interesting on his thoughts on the subset of late teen/early twenty something young women that are calling themselves gay boys, medicalising and then entering the onlyfans world of 'sissy porn' and 'mascfem porn'. I think there are more of them than is really understood. Personally I feel there is something a little sinister about it as many of the cheerleaders are those older male transvestites' that Az has identified, that don't medicalise and for whom it is a purely sexual experience. Safeguarding these vulnerable young women has gone out the window.
I have just bought Dr Az Hakeem's book Detrans. I'm halfway through another book at the moment but as soon as I've finished it I will be getting stuck in.
These people are not changing into the other sex and I think many of them don't realize that until they've had so many changes that they are set up for a lifetime of medical complications.
A woman has a female reproductive system (unless she has had surgery or has some physical disorder), ovaries with eggs and a uterus to carry a child. Hormonal systems that cycle during the month, that change over the life cycle, different all sorts of things. The vagina is an entry way to that system, and the breasts are in part to feed the child. We have two sexes because there are two reproductive roles in our species. That is the point of the two sexes.
What a man who transitions gets is a pocket in the same location as a vagina, and breasts. Maybe that is what some men think women are? A man with stuff missing? (Oh, and estrogen. As if an injection will change their sex.) They don't get a vagina at all, just a facade. Because a man with his reproductive system removed is not a woman, even if they are removed creatively.
We can treat people who have done this socially as women, out of courtesy, but if you read many detransitioners' essays, some thought they were actually changing into women with these interventions. It's unbelievably sad when they figure it out.
Not gonna lie, I love watching the dynamic between ya'll!
In the late noughties and early 2010s, I noticed a lot of ideas that started as thought experiments like queer theory were applied in ways that the original writer likely never dreamed when they thought of it even if they went along for the ride. The big one I remember is Yes Means Yes and enthusiastic consent, which started reasonably with the observation that if women are shamed for wanting sex and can only consent to sex by putting up a fight (think the song "Baby It's Cold Outside"), then this is confusing to men who can't tell the difference between a no for the sake of appearances versus a real no and posited that the solution was to make it okay for women to say yes to sex without shaming them as sluts. It very quickly morphed into this unrealistic gold legal standard and I noticed a lot of young people would be disillusioned because they felt that getting consent meant their first time would be wonderful and the reality was more complicated. From my perspective a lot of the woke critical justice stuff originated in fandom communities with consisted of a lot of autistic individuals and then carried over to the larger population.
With regards to gay men and transmen, I have had female clients claiming a transmasc identity who are in relationships with men claiming a transwomen identity. I thought the men were AGP at first but I was later surprised to find that these men were gay and it became an issue because these couples were also poly. The men weren't having sex with my female clients because they said that getting an erection would trigger their dysphoria. But then the men would be able to have sex with another biological man and send my clients into sessions where they would struggle with jealousies they believed they weren't supposed to have because they were poly. I live in a very religiously conservative area where there is still a lot of shame and stigma around being gay, so I felt sorry for everyone involved even as I marveled at how completely bonkers these situations were.
Excellent episode. I liked the thought, "it is an 'over-valued idea’ which is relentlessly pursued by the individual.” I read the book, Detrans in which the quote came, and it was well worth my time. Another valuable part was the discussion of what happens when an autistic way of thinking meets queer theory. Thank you.
Last comment :).
Here's a headline from the Boston Globe 2 weeks ago:
The US is learning exactly what these assessments are....
"‘Some were not happy’: At Boston Children’s Hospital, a dispute over how to screen children for gender transition
In-person evaluations of minors seeking gender care have been truncated to two hours."
FANTASTIC discussion. Thank you, all 3 of you.
This matches my understanding of having a neurodiverse child, and the vehemence of the debates based on very fixed thinking and propaganda.
I wish I would one day head doctors speak of puberty dysphoria and “stereotype” confusion.
I think Dr Hakeem's views are great, they seem very logical and explain a lot, I think there's quite a cross over between autism and all the different types of trans.
I came across this website
Gender construction kit
https://genderkit.org.uk/
Perfect for the autistic mind planning a new identity
I'm surprised organisations supporting autistic adults and children aren't more invested in the damage gender is doing to the people they claim to support and their families.
not sure about Sasha's being binary about "very autistic" and "not autistic". Because these are often young people, also, when they latched on to this idea.
And growing out of magical thinking, overvalued ideas, is also something even people on the spectrum can do. Young people grow out of a lot of things and these are mostly people who are not yet developmentally mature. What a lot of the people making these decisions understand about what is actually possible and what their choices are going to imply down the road...wouldn't fill a thimble.