Following on from Kassandra's comments, below, I think it is worth revisiting the history of Gen X. In the United States, and I suspect in the UK also, the break up of families in the 70s was very hard on kids. When I was writing my book, I was asking Gen Xers questions about their memories of the 70s. Inevitably (the divorce rate was 50…
Following on from Kassandra's comments, below, I think it is worth revisiting the history of Gen X. In the United States, and I suspect in the UK also, the break up of families in the 70s was very hard on kids. When I was writing my book, I was asking Gen Xers questions about their memories of the 70s. Inevitably (the divorce rate was 50% then) many of them went through a the break up of their families. I was really struck by how many cried when I asked them what it was like for them. It was as if they'd never been asked. I'm not anti-divorce, but there was a period of time in the 70s when it seems to have become almost a social contagion. At the time, the impact of family breakup on young children was not well understood and received virtually no attention. I think it's corrected somewhat (we now have a different set of issues), but there is an aspect of our childrearing that is seeking to compensate. There are some really interesting longitudinal studies in which these, now adult children, talk about how they want to give their kids the attention they never had. This isn't the whole reason for the blurring of the lines between the needs of parents and their kids, but it's an important aspect.
This is such a good point. I am the child of divorce and this really resonated with me. I’m not necessarily mad my parents got divorced but if you asked me what it was like for me, I would definitely start crying, too. It definitely influenced my determination to not have that kind of family (splintered and distracted) for my kids.
Following on from Kassandra's comments, below, I think it is worth revisiting the history of Gen X. In the United States, and I suspect in the UK also, the break up of families in the 70s was very hard on kids. When I was writing my book, I was asking Gen Xers questions about their memories of the 70s. Inevitably (the divorce rate was 50% then) many of them went through a the break up of their families. I was really struck by how many cried when I asked them what it was like for them. It was as if they'd never been asked. I'm not anti-divorce, but there was a period of time in the 70s when it seems to have become almost a social contagion. At the time, the impact of family breakup on young children was not well understood and received virtually no attention. I think it's corrected somewhat (we now have a different set of issues), but there is an aspect of our childrearing that is seeking to compensate. There are some really interesting longitudinal studies in which these, now adult children, talk about how they want to give their kids the attention they never had. This isn't the whole reason for the blurring of the lines between the needs of parents and their kids, but it's an important aspect.
This is such a good point. I am the child of divorce and this really resonated with me. I’m not necessarily mad my parents got divorced but if you asked me what it was like for me, I would definitely start crying, too. It definitely influenced my determination to not have that kind of family (splintered and distracted) for my kids.
Or is Kassandra's comment above??? 😆