Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
30 — Sasha & Stella Answer Your Questions: Part 2

30 — Sasha & Stella Answer Your Questions: Part 2

Sasha and Stella answer listener questions… again! They start by highlighting recent episodes inspired by listener feedback. Next, they discuss the financial implications and complexities involved in adult children using their parents’ medical insurance. They reflect on the different roles that can emerge between mothers and fathers of gender dysphoric youth. Other questions address the similarities between body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, OCD, and other ruminative anxieties.


Activist Perspective on Body Dysmorphia & Gender Dysphoria

Homosexual OCD:

Trans OCD:

Aaron Kimberly on Benjamin Boyce:

Bryony Gordon, Mad Girl, book about OCD

Suicidality in Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Extended Notes

  • A little update on what topics Stella and Sasha have in the pipeline!

  • This is the second episode where Stella and Sasha answer listener questions!

  • How do you manage the costs of gender? This listener asked her daughter to pay for her own gender medical expenses.

  • When does it make sense for parents to accept where their child is in life?

  • This parent wants to support her child through her journey, but she also doesn’t want to pay for something she disagrees with.

  • If the parent is paying for it, then she should be able to look at the bills she’s paying for. If her child does not want her to see the medical procedures, then she must take ownership of those costs.

  • This parent needs to remind her daughter about all the ways she is happy to support her necessities. Basic food, shelter, and safety. How she has done so since she was a child. Sometimes children need the reminder. She also has three other children to consider and it makes sense why she might be hesitant to spend large resources on one when an emergency could happen to another one.

  • When do you know you’re enabling your child?

  • The fact insurance covers so many of these medical procedures is very shocking. They have an allure that they’re safe to do. They’re not!

  • Next listener question! How does a man, who works in a blue-collared field, tell his friends that his son wants to be a girl?

  • Stella has noticed that those who attend support groups for their transitioning children, 95% of them are mothers. Where are the men?

  • No matter what happens to your child, look after your marriage. You are stronger together.

  • Men are often suffering in their own private way. They express themselves differently than women do.

  • At the end of the day, the body is real, you’re born with it, and it’s here to stay.

  • What is homosexual OCD or transgender OCD?

  • This is a bit of a chicken/egg question. Can spending a lot of time on the internet, reading about the trans movement, taking quizzes, etc, influence your decision-making?

  • Stay tuned for future episodes! Sasha and Stella are excited to talk about some of these topics!

This podcast is partially sponsored by ReIME, Rethink Identity Medicine Ethics:

Learn more about our show:

Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more.