Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
133 - Is Trans REALLY the New Gay?

133 - Is Trans REALLY the New Gay?

Sasha and Stella discuss the current cultural impulse that suggests affirming “trans” identity is the same as affirming gay sexual orientation in young people - are these two declarations really as parallel as the social justice narrative claims them to be? Sasha and Stella emphasize the importance of not conflating the two and explore how society's response to a child's gender identity should differ from declarations about sexual orientation. This discussion provides valuable perspectives on the nuanced relationship between gender identity, sexuality, and the importance of careful consideration when affirming a child's self-defined gender .

Stella draws from her own personal experiences with gender dysphoria while growing up, and Sasha chimes in, offering expert insights from individual therapy with gender-distressed youth. This conversation sheds light on the challenges faced by young people navigating multiple aspects of their identity development. 

They stress the importance of listening deeply and compassionately to young people’s distress while carefully navigating the fine line between affirmation and genuine understanding so that children can feel truly heard and supported, rather than superficially being “agreed with.” This thought-provoking conversation highlights the nuances of gender identity and ways it may differ from sexual orientation while also considering the long-term consequences of medical interventions, challenging the affirmation-only narrative, and encouraging a more thoughtful and reflective approach to supporting trans-identified kids.


Order Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents 

Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Bonus Content

Trans Kids: It's Time to Talk

Affirmation Therapy: Necessary, But Not Sufficient 

Helena Part 1: Social Justice, Fandoms & FtM Gay Boys 

Helena Part II: Advice for Parents from a Former Trans Kid 

One Detrans Voice: A Conversation with Carol 

Facing Futility: You Can’t Actually Change Sex, with Corinna Cohn 

Explore Gender Identity Development Resources

Connect & Learn 

If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:

Episode 1 - Trans: Identity vs Dysphoria 

Episode 4 - Why Do People Seek a New Identity? 

Episode 7 - Collective Collusion 

Episode 78 — Affirming Reality for Kids with Stephanie Davies-Arai 

Episode 103 — Follow the Gender-brick Road: from Bi to Pan to Trans 

Episode 110 — Pathologizing Normal: The Lure of Identity Labels & Diagnoses 

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Gender: A Wider Lens
Gender: A Wider Lens
In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more.