Hi all, we are three weeks out from having fled the U.S. for Europe with our 19 year old daughter, for good. The hell we have been through back in the states regarding heath care was absolutely horrendous. The neighbors and friends around us were fully captured and I knew staying put was going to cement my daughter into her new identity. They were practically preying on her. I want to thank Sasha and Stella for planting this seed in my brain three years ago to try a big move. It took tons of work to make it happen but I want to report on how it’s going. So far, it’s amazing! She has her hard moments but she is genuinely happy to be here. We don’t see any miraculous flipping of identity but there is suddenly a wide open space to not feel compelled to conform to a caricature. All of the paperwork for visas, applications etc has to be in her birth name and actual sex. I’m watching her sign her ’dead’ name without cringing and no complaining afterwards. Her room is the most feminine I’ve seen it. But what blows me away is how gender is just not a thing here. Everyone is just themselves, guys are guys, women are women. There is no effort to prove you are something else, no one cares. You wear clothes that are comfortable. There is also much less stress. People are cared for by the government, no one is walking around angry, and things just work, and work well! The move has certainly been stressful but really in some ways not. If social contagion is a thing, and we know it is, I suspect our daughter will be relaxing her identity soon enough. Regardless, we have breathing space again. If you are considering a big move, I would say go for it.
I took the plunge and bought a ticket for the Genspect conference in September… big step for me; I’ve gone so deep on this issue, and want desperately to be as effective as possible in helping right this rocking ship of over-medicalizing adolescence. I’ve been telling my kids that this is a moment: that this repression of dissent is undemocratic and anti-intellectual, and I need to find a way to network with others who have found their voice to speak truth.
Good for you! I want to start writing new organizations and elected officials. I want to write my story in PITT by the end of this year. It's crazy how many parents I am meeting with the same sad story.
It is my dear despairing genX parent friends and their tragically medicalized genZ kids that really crystallized this atrocity for me. I’ve been cowed into silence, fearful of being cancelled and called a bigot, but no longer. I welcome these ridiculous epithets now. I’m ready to stand up for the idea that caution, safeguarding and thoughtful discourse are not hateful.
Thank you. I am one of those gen x living in a most progressive city - politically homeless and would be considered extreme since I don’t believe the ideology if i offered my opinion. It’s a very lonely here. I can’t be political as my daughter is a believer and I need to protect my relationship.
Courage begets courage . I recommend Bari Weiss Ted Talk on her Honestly podcast as she talks about exactly that.
Yesterday I hit the heart button on a comment that said “trans women are a type of man” After thinking about this more I realized that my ROGD daughter, if she re-starts her cross-sex hormones as a 19-year-old “adult” would become a “trans man and therefore a type of woman” This is not accurate, and it further impacts the way we talk about these very serious issues.
The words we use, or are forced to use matter tremendously.
Why do we keep saying biological women or men? There are only women and men, females and males, period. Why do we keep using “gender assigned at birth”? We know sex is established at conception and it binary. Why do we use trans man or woman? We know it is a male or female-presenting secondary sex attributes as the opposite sex because we cannot change our sex, only the external appearance.
Allowing others to use this language, makes us accomplices, participating in the illusion. Accepting these words creates space for other categories and undermines our freedom. I realize that some individuals will present as the opposite sex to be able to function, and we must protect their rights. However, we cannot resort to gender-affirming and insufficient informed consent models, particularly with children, adolescents, and vulnerable adults. There is a plethora of other treatments we should try first, right?
I heard Dr. Malone say the following: Why the scientific method matters. You want high-quality evidence to guide your interventions because you will be less likely to make a mistake. If low-quality evidence or no evidence is guiding your interventions, mistakes will happen and they will cause harm.”
After reading the WPATH report and The Cass Report, it is clear that we have made mistakes and they are causing significant harm to everyone. We need to turn this around now.
I keep wondering why, if a kid claims they’re suicidal and demand particular body modifications / identity confirmations from others in order to want to live, we would respond by “affirming” this self-disempowering concept. Why the first line intervention isn’t addressing the limiting beliefs is truly bizarre.
Also, anorexics are self-harming and commit suicide at the same rate as “trans” kids, so if an active anorexic is starving themselves to the point of organ failure, we hospitalize them in the psych ward, in a last-ditch attempt to subvert their self-harm. If a “trans” kid is self-harming, attempting suicide, or threatening suicide, wouldn’t step one be to put them into a ward where they can’t complete a suicide? I mean, if the danger is that acute, why isn’t immediate psychiatric in-patient the way we “protect” these kids? I get accused of “killing trans kids” or being actively involved in “genocide” if I suggest that body modifications are not an effective suicide prevention, but I actually think providing the chemicals and surgeries are more likely to lead to harm, short and long term.
It’s baffling, how suicide is thrown around as if it’s going to happen this afternoon if the parents don’t sign off on the puberty blocker or testosterone or mastectomy— and yet the kid goes home suddenly happy and fully functional as soon as the scrip is filled or the surgery is scheduled? That’s not really psych protocol in any other situation where we assess a kid and decide they really are at risk of fatal self-harm.
Tbh I don’t think it’s a full blown cult, because that language kinda dilute what real cults are - and these are next level bad. However the ideology absolutely matches criteria for information, thought and emotional control under BITE model and particular groups formed around this ideology can enact behavioural control.
Imo full blown cult would be Peoples Temple (Jonestown massacre cult) and transgenderism could be compared to situation of someone who is (in various degree) indoctrinated by Peoples Temple, but has never moved to Guyana or any other Jim Jones commune.
Whatever you think of transgender ideology, I hope you agree the situation, in terms of dynamics in the group, is closer to QAnon than Aum Shinrikyo. Generally traditional cults have cult leader, which is central figure, and take direct control of members enviroment: starting settlements, inducing sleep deprivation, educating members kids, forcing members to sex and marriage, taking away wealth, forcing to work. In new online cults such as QAnon all indoctrination is self inflicted and actions of members aren’t directed by anyone.
I have been so heartened by the recent uncovering of the top down pressures on the gender ecosystem - the gratuitous and grubby machinations emanating from the top of the PHSCC in the States - the shameless quackery, blunderings, and ideologizing of WPATH masquerading as science - the viral degeneracy of the AAP that is infecting the medical services landscape - the intellectual and moral devolution of the tertiary education sector etc. However, the dearth of this important and real world impacting information in the mainstream media is disturbing. Please join me in thinking about how to bring the media's mind numbing bias peddling to the attention of all right thinking people. So much energy and so many smarts on our side of the discourse - I hope the media is keenly discussed in Lisbon.
Wow. Well said. I’m hoping more comic celebrities will speak up in a way that uses humour to state the obvious. The satirical news shows especially could do great work here. The left-wing people who trust their comedians more than their government could be swayed by this. Saturday Night Live has flirted recently with satirizing non-binary pre-teens…
I'm trying not to troll my neighborhood Facebook page where someone is upset that someone is driving a pickup truck with two American flags on July 4th. They did mask their license plate too, so that is creepy. But really, the judgment for flying the flag today seem misplaced when everyone has been flying the intersex progressive pride flag all of June.
We are 1 year into our 20 year old son telling us he thinks he is trans and 5 days into our son telling us he is going to start "transitioning". He is brillaint (and likely autistic and says he has thought and struggled with this and self loathing since he was 10- I do believe this, though he is not girly in any way) and he can kill you in a debate with data. He really thinks trans women are women. He is an adult. We pay for most things as he is in college and we want him to graduate. His younger brother is devestated that his family is falling apart. My son says if we don't accept all of him (including his transness) we don't love him. We had a big fight, I apologized, he apologized and says he wants a close relationship. I want to "save" him from this cult but he is so far in it seems impossible for him to see anything but what he wants to see. I do think he has been more depressed and self hating than I realized for a longer time than I realized. I think this idea has been in his head for years and he has pushed it down. Does he just need to go through this experimental phase? Part of me thinks he does and I just hope he realizes this isn't the fix he thinks it is. I can't eat or sleep well and feel axious all of the time. Hard to get back and enjoy life but I have another son to think about. How do I let him go on this journey? I feel like the entire dynamic of our 20 year old relationship is gone. It is like getting to know a new person. Do many of these boys start this journey and not end up on HRT?
Hi all, we are three weeks out from having fled the U.S. for Europe with our 19 year old daughter, for good. The hell we have been through back in the states regarding heath care was absolutely horrendous. The neighbors and friends around us were fully captured and I knew staying put was going to cement my daughter into her new identity. They were practically preying on her. I want to thank Sasha and Stella for planting this seed in my brain three years ago to try a big move. It took tons of work to make it happen but I want to report on how it’s going. So far, it’s amazing! She has her hard moments but she is genuinely happy to be here. We don’t see any miraculous flipping of identity but there is suddenly a wide open space to not feel compelled to conform to a caricature. All of the paperwork for visas, applications etc has to be in her birth name and actual sex. I’m watching her sign her ’dead’ name without cringing and no complaining afterwards. Her room is the most feminine I’ve seen it. But what blows me away is how gender is just not a thing here. Everyone is just themselves, guys are guys, women are women. There is no effort to prove you are something else, no one cares. You wear clothes that are comfortable. There is also much less stress. People are cared for by the government, no one is walking around angry, and things just work, and work well! The move has certainly been stressful but really in some ways not. If social contagion is a thing, and we know it is, I suspect our daughter will be relaxing her identity soon enough. Regardless, we have breathing space again. If you are considering a big move, I would say go for it.
Happy to hear good news!
Thank you! There is hope out there!
Can you tell us the country you're in?
Of all the places … where the Dutch protocol began … NL. We are not in Amsterdam, so that might make a difference.
I took the plunge and bought a ticket for the Genspect conference in September… big step for me; I’ve gone so deep on this issue, and want desperately to be as effective as possible in helping right this rocking ship of over-medicalizing adolescence. I’ve been telling my kids that this is a moment: that this repression of dissent is undemocratic and anti-intellectual, and I need to find a way to network with others who have found their voice to speak truth.
Good for you! I want to start writing new organizations and elected officials. I want to write my story in PITT by the end of this year. It's crazy how many parents I am meeting with the same sad story.
It is my dear despairing genX parent friends and their tragically medicalized genZ kids that really crystallized this atrocity for me. I’ve been cowed into silence, fearful of being cancelled and called a bigot, but no longer. I welcome these ridiculous epithets now. I’m ready to stand up for the idea that caution, safeguarding and thoughtful discourse are not hateful.
Thank you. I am one of those gen x living in a most progressive city - politically homeless and would be considered extreme since I don’t believe the ideology if i offered my opinion. It’s a very lonely here. I can’t be political as my daughter is a believer and I need to protect my relationship.
Courage begets courage . I recommend Bari Weiss Ted Talk on her Honestly podcast as she talks about exactly that.
Yesterday I hit the heart button on a comment that said “trans women are a type of man” After thinking about this more I realized that my ROGD daughter, if she re-starts her cross-sex hormones as a 19-year-old “adult” would become a “trans man and therefore a type of woman” This is not accurate, and it further impacts the way we talk about these very serious issues.
The words we use, or are forced to use matter tremendously.
Why do we keep saying biological women or men? There are only women and men, females and males, period. Why do we keep using “gender assigned at birth”? We know sex is established at conception and it binary. Why do we use trans man or woman? We know it is a male or female-presenting secondary sex attributes as the opposite sex because we cannot change our sex, only the external appearance.
Allowing others to use this language, makes us accomplices, participating in the illusion. Accepting these words creates space for other categories and undermines our freedom. I realize that some individuals will present as the opposite sex to be able to function, and we must protect their rights. However, we cannot resort to gender-affirming and insufficient informed consent models, particularly with children, adolescents, and vulnerable adults. There is a plethora of other treatments we should try first, right?
I heard Dr. Malone say the following: Why the scientific method matters. You want high-quality evidence to guide your interventions because you will be less likely to make a mistake. If low-quality evidence or no evidence is guiding your interventions, mistakes will happen and they will cause harm.”
After reading the WPATH report and The Cass Report, it is clear that we have made mistakes and they are causing significant harm to everyone. We need to turn this around now.
I keep wondering why, if a kid claims they’re suicidal and demand particular body modifications / identity confirmations from others in order to want to live, we would respond by “affirming” this self-disempowering concept. Why the first line intervention isn’t addressing the limiting beliefs is truly bizarre.
Also, anorexics are self-harming and commit suicide at the same rate as “trans” kids, so if an active anorexic is starving themselves to the point of organ failure, we hospitalize them in the psych ward, in a last-ditch attempt to subvert their self-harm. If a “trans” kid is self-harming, attempting suicide, or threatening suicide, wouldn’t step one be to put them into a ward where they can’t complete a suicide? I mean, if the danger is that acute, why isn’t immediate psychiatric in-patient the way we “protect” these kids? I get accused of “killing trans kids” or being actively involved in “genocide” if I suggest that body modifications are not an effective suicide prevention, but I actually think providing the chemicals and surgeries are more likely to lead to harm, short and long term.
It’s baffling, how suicide is thrown around as if it’s going to happen this afternoon if the parents don’t sign off on the puberty blocker or testosterone or mastectomy— and yet the kid goes home suddenly happy and fully functional as soon as the scrip is filled or the surgery is scheduled? That’s not really psych protocol in any other situation where we assess a kid and decide they really are at risk of fatal self-harm.
I like term trans-identified man for trans woman or man in transition
I like to say “born male wanting to present female”
Can we talk about how this is a cult?
Yes. I call it a “cult that requires a blood sacrifice,” just to drive home the madness of this carnage.
Tbh I don’t think it’s a full blown cult, because that language kinda dilute what real cults are - and these are next level bad. However the ideology absolutely matches criteria for information, thought and emotional control under BITE model and particular groups formed around this ideology can enact behavioural control.
Why don’t you think it’s a full blown cult?
Imo full blown cult would be Peoples Temple (Jonestown massacre cult) and transgenderism could be compared to situation of someone who is (in various degree) indoctrinated by Peoples Temple, but has never moved to Guyana or any other Jim Jones commune.
Whatever you think of transgender ideology, I hope you agree the situation, in terms of dynamics in the group, is closer to QAnon than Aum Shinrikyo. Generally traditional cults have cult leader, which is central figure, and take direct control of members enviroment: starting settlements, inducing sleep deprivation, educating members kids, forcing members to sex and marriage, taking away wealth, forcing to work. In new online cults such as QAnon all indoctrination is self inflicted and actions of members aren’t directed by anyone.
I have been so heartened by the recent uncovering of the top down pressures on the gender ecosystem - the gratuitous and grubby machinations emanating from the top of the PHSCC in the States - the shameless quackery, blunderings, and ideologizing of WPATH masquerading as science - the viral degeneracy of the AAP that is infecting the medical services landscape - the intellectual and moral devolution of the tertiary education sector etc. However, the dearth of this important and real world impacting information in the mainstream media is disturbing. Please join me in thinking about how to bring the media's mind numbing bias peddling to the attention of all right thinking people. So much energy and so many smarts on our side of the discourse - I hope the media is keenly discussed in Lisbon.
Wow. Well said. I’m hoping more comic celebrities will speak up in a way that uses humour to state the obvious. The satirical news shows especially could do great work here. The left-wing people who trust their comedians more than their government could be swayed by this. Saturday Night Live has flirted recently with satirizing non-binary pre-teens…
We should have a Gender Independence day
Genderpendence Day
A day where no one has to genderflect or pledge allegiance to 45 flags
I'm trying not to troll my neighborhood Facebook page where someone is upset that someone is driving a pickup truck with two American flags on July 4th. They did mask their license plate too, so that is creepy. But really, the judgment for flying the flag today seem misplaced when everyone has been flying the intersex progressive pride flag all of June.
I don’t understand why someone would be upset about national flags on national independence day
Hi everyone! I heard this article on NPR this morning. How does this not correlate to Gender Ideology with a perfect positive correlation value of 1?
It does! How can we get people to understand how humans mature?
Link: https://www.npr.org/2024/08/01/nx-s1-5053015/athletes-make-difficult-choices-hear-what-theyll-do-in-pursuit-of-olympic-glory
A little late to this conversation, but see my summary on the WPATH Tapes https://www.pittparents.com/p/physiological-plausibility
Here is the stupidest demand of trans activists I’ve ever heard: 1% of jobs in government for trans people
We are 1 year into our 20 year old son telling us he thinks he is trans and 5 days into our son telling us he is going to start "transitioning". He is brillaint (and likely autistic and says he has thought and struggled with this and self loathing since he was 10- I do believe this, though he is not girly in any way) and he can kill you in a debate with data. He really thinks trans women are women. He is an adult. We pay for most things as he is in college and we want him to graduate. His younger brother is devestated that his family is falling apart. My son says if we don't accept all of him (including his transness) we don't love him. We had a big fight, I apologized, he apologized and says he wants a close relationship. I want to "save" him from this cult but he is so far in it seems impossible for him to see anything but what he wants to see. I do think he has been more depressed and self hating than I realized for a longer time than I realized. I think this idea has been in his head for years and he has pushed it down. Does he just need to go through this experimental phase? Part of me thinks he does and I just hope he realizes this isn't the fix he thinks it is. I can't eat or sleep well and feel axious all of the time. Hard to get back and enjoy life but I have another son to think about. How do I let him go on this journey? I feel like the entire dynamic of our 20 year old relationship is gone. It is like getting to know a new person. Do many of these boys start this journey and not end up on HRT?