Revisiting Episode 7: Collective Collusion

This episode explores how society has colluded with the fantasy of gender identity, much to the detriment of people with gender dysphoria

In this episode, we explore a difficult but crucial concept: collusion. In therapy, collusion occurs when a therapist—whether consciously or unconsciously—joins with a client in avoiding an uncomfortable truth. Rather than gently challenging the client or guiding them toward a deeper, more constructive understanding, the therapist might support a defensive narrative. The result can be a seemingly supportive therapeutic alliance that quietly avoids growth.

But collusion doesn’t only happen in the consulting room. On a much broader scale, society itself has colluded with the fantasy of gender identity. By affirming without questioning and suppressing dissenting voices, we've constructed a collective story—one that often harms the very individuals it claims to support: people with gender dysphoria.

This episode digs into how and why such widespread collusion happens, drawing from social psychology and therapeutic theory alike. Listen here:

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🧠 Concepts Discussed

• Pluralistic Ignorance: A phenomenon where no one truly believes the dominant narrative, yet everyone assumes everyone else does. This fuels group silence and false consensus.

• The Asch Conformity Test: A classic study on how individuals conform to group opinion—even when they know it’s wrong.

• The Milgram Experiment: A chilling reminder of how ordinary people may obey harmful authority when pressure mounts.

• Diverse Thresholds: Some people speak out early, while others wait for a tipping point. This explains why mass collusion can suddenly shift.

• Carl Rogers and Person-Centred Therapy: What happens when the therapist’s unconditional positive regard inadvertently reinforces avoidance rather than clarity?

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🧵 Broader Reflections

We reflect on J.K. Rowling’s essay as a watershed moment—one that pierced the social collusion and helped others find their voice.

We also examine how public institutions, including Californian health policy, have reinforced the ideology of gender identity, often with good intentions—but sometimes with unintended consequences.

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💡 Why This Matters

Collusion in therapy is not usually malicious. It can arise from empathy, fear, or a desire to protect. But when it becomes habitual—when it stops a person from facing what’s hard but necessary—it no longer serves healing.

The same goes for society at large. Well-meaning people, institutions, and even therapists can end up reinforcing stories that keep us from asking better questions.

And yet, there is hope. Each person—therapist, client, parent, educator—has the power to step out of collusion and into clarity.

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– Stella & Sasha