Revisiting Episode 21: Gender Dysphoria in Boys - a conversation with Angus Fox
Understanding the complex world of ROGD boys who seek to medically transition
This episode was first aired on 30 April 2021. Listen here:
In this follow-up to our previous discussion about boys with Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD), Sasha and I are joined by Angus Fox, author of the Quillette series When Sons Become Daughters. Angus speaks about his efforts to earn the trust of parents who meet privately to share their experiences of raising gender-dysphoric sons—parents who often feel isolated, confused, and afraid to speak openly.
As a gay man reflecting on his own difficult boyhood, Angus brings a rare and compassionate insight into what these boys might be experiencing. He describes how many of them are bright, thoughtful, and analytical, yet socially awkward and deeply immersed in online worlds. Some spend hours in role-playing games that present an idealised and unrealistic image of femininity, which can shape their fantasies and sense of identity.
We discuss the role of systematic thinking often seen in ROGD boys, and how their female peers may encourage or even celebrate their desire to transition. For some boys, joining a group of girls provides a sense of belonging and social validation that they struggle to find elsewhere. Angus also considers how online influences—and, at times, predatory adults—can further confuse their developing sense of self and sexuality.
Angus’s research with parents highlights just how blindsided many families feel when a child suddenly announces a trans identity. Parents often describe intelligent sons giving strangely immature explanations for wanting to transition, as though reciting a script from the internet. He also notes the growing overlap between gender dysphoria, autism, and anxiety—conditions that can make adolescence especially fraught.
We talk about the emotional impact on parents, who frequently find themselves dismissed by professionals and unsupported by the wider community. Despite their diversity—across politics, religion, and geography—they share a deep concern for their children and a wish to understand what is really happening.
Finally, Angus reflects on broader patterns: the decline in real-world risk-taking among young people, the rise in identity experimentation, and the ways in which rebellion has shifted from external acts to internal transformations. He also wonders whether birth order might play a role—whether being an only child or the youngest in a large family might shape how identity is formed.
This is a rich, sensitive, and thought-provoking conversation with someone who has spent years listening to parents and trying to make sense of a complex cultural phenomenon.
References and Further Reading