Revisiting Episode 20: Gender Dysphoria in Boys
Once thought to be 80:20 girls to boys, the ratio is now closer to 70:30. This episode explores how gender dysphoria in boys often looks very different from how it presents in girls
This episode was first aired on April 23rd 2021. Listen here:
Many presume that ROGD affects only girls, but a significant number of boys also show the hallmark traits of Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria. In this first of two episodes, Sasha and I explore some of the different ways gender dysphoria can manifest in boys. These boys don’t quite fit within Ray Blanchard’s classifications of homosexual transsexualism or autogynephilia. Often softly spoken “Mommy’s boys,” they tend to be highly intelligent, introspective, and prone to rumination. Many prefer the safety of their bedrooms and may become fixated on medical transition as a way to avoid the challenges of reality.
Conversations about boys and gender dysphoria have been noticeably lacking. Much of the public and clinical focus has centred on girls, yet it’s equally important to understand how and why boys might want to transition. This episode begins by exploring what we currently know about trans identification in males and asks how the established models, such as Blanchard’s typology, apply to today’s young men. What does it mean to be an autogynephilic transsexual, and how does this framework help—or fail to help—explain the experiences of gender-distressed boys today?
Sasha and I reflect on how sexual arousal patterns and erotic imagination can shape gender identity in complex ways. What turns people on simply turns them on, and there is very little that can be done to change that. However, erotic behaviour becomes problematic when it involves others without their consent. We discuss the different kinds of men who struggle with gender identity and how distorted sexual imagery—particularly in the form of cartoon pornography—can influence a young person’s developing sense of self and sexuality.
Some of these boys might be quiet, introspective “wallflowers” who feel invisible in social settings. Adopting a female persona can seem like a way to express their gentle personality. For males who are drawn to a female identity, there is often a performative element to their gender expression—an attempt to embody an ideal rather than to simply be. When an identity crisis follows trauma or emotional upheaval, this search for meaning can spiral out of control, and for some, becoming a girl feels like the only way to make sense of their experience.
We note that many of these boys are exceptionally bright and intellectually gifted, often perfectionists who hit a wall when they can no longer meet their own standards. In that moment of collapse, they may begin to question who they really are. Some express discomfort with their perceived male privilege and a desire to be part of the solution rather than the problem. We also consider the possible influence of video games, where idealised avatars and alternate realities can subtly shape identity and self-perception.
For boys who struggle with gender distress, conversation can be difficult. They often resist talking about their feelings and instead look for immediate solutions, which frequently points them toward medical intervention. The limited options available to boys in areas like clothing and self-expression further restrict their sense of identity, while girls are afforded far greater flexibility. Yet, for many young people, the simple act of naming and discussing their gender dysphoria brings enormous relief. Once they can articulate what they feel, the turmoil begins to ease.
Listen to full episode here:
Further reading:
Ray Blanchard (1989). “The classification and labeling of nonhomosexual gender dysphorias.” Archives of Sexual Behavior. 18 (4): 315–334. doi:10.1007/bf01541951. PMID 2673136. S2CID 43151898.
Blanchard R (August 2005). “Early history of the concept of autogynephilia.” Archives of Sexual Behavior. 34 (4): 439–446. CiteSeerX 10.1.1.667.7255. doi:10.1007/s10508-005-4343-8. PMID 16010466. S2CID 15986011.
Michael Bailey (2003). The Man who would be Queen.
Anne Lawrence — (2013). Men Trapped in Men’s Bodies: Narratives of Autogynephilic Transsexualism. Springer Science+Business Media. ISBN 978-1-4614-5181-5.
Angus Fox (2021) — “When Sons Become Daughters: Parents of Transitioning Boys Speak Out on Their Own Suffering” Quillette.com/author/angus-fox/
Donna M. (2021) — “You’re not trans, you’re just weird” Newdiscourses.com/2021/03/youre-not-trans-youre-just-weird/
Kellie Jay Keen Minshull — “The locker-room has a lot to answer for. Lesbianandgaynews.com/2021/02/kellie-jay-keen-the-locker-room-has-a-lot-to-answer-for
Transin’ the Suburbs — Ellen McEvoy Counterweightsupport.com/2021/04/03/transin-the-suburbs/