Revisiting Episode 18: Lockdown, Loneliness, and Gender

This episode "Covid, Dysphoria and Listener Shout-outs" was first aired on April 9th 2021

When Sasha and I recorded Episode 18 of Gender: A Wider Lens, the world was still under the shadow of lockdown. It was a year of uncertainty, disruption, and for many, quiet despair. We were struck by the ways in which restricted life seemed to intensify struggles around gender identity for some young people, while for others, the whole question of gender faded into the background.

Clinically, we saw both patterns emerge. Some spent endless hours watching transition videos on YouTube, with the internet becoming a kind of echo chamber where fears and fantasies merged. Others seemed to put gender on hold altogether, distracted by more immediate challenges. The irony of the lockdown years was that while our children spent more time than ever on their screens, they were simultaneously under-stimulated – socially, emotionally, and physically.

We spoke in that episode about the sheer power of the internet. We strongly believe it is important to encourage your children offline. Not entirely, of course – screens are here to stay – but enough to allow them to re-engage with the real world. During lockdown, this was very difficult to do.

The isolation weighed heavily on many people during lockdown, and we wondered together about the long-term effects of those years on children’s development. Would we see higher rates of anxiety, depression, or disconnection? What would it mean for identity formation in a generation that already feels so uncertain about who they are?

I wrote at the time about the broader mental health crisis we were facing in Ireland and beyond. In The Journal I argued that young people had suffered enormously during Covid and needed our support. In the Irish Independent and Sunday Independent, I warned that we were heading into a mental health storm. Sadly, much of what we feared has since borne out: relapses in eating disorders, spikes in loneliness, and yes, intensification of gender distress.

But it wasn’t all bleak. In this episode, we also tried to notice the unexpected positives. Some families grew closer. Some young people discovered resilience they didn’t know they had. For introverts, the relief of quiet time away from the bustle of school was palpable. And we reminded listeners that humanity has endured worse – war, famine, displacement – even while acknowledging that isolation has its own distinct and lasting impact.

What I remember most vividly about recording that episode is how connected we felt to our listeners. We gave shout-outs to people all over the globe, and we invited you to share your own experiences and your burning gender questions. Even in the midst of isolation, there was a sense of community growing – of people grappling with the same strange, disorienting reality, but doing so together.

Looking back now, several years on, I’m struck by how much that conversation still resonates. Lockdown may be behind us, but the questions it raised remain alive. How do we help children face life with courage rather than fear? How do we balance online and offline worlds? How do we nurture connection in an era that seems designed for isolation? And how do we support young people in their search for identity without letting them get lost in it?

Those were the questions of Episode 18 – and in many ways, they remain the questions of our time.

Listen here:

Let us know your thoughts! Have you thoughts on how to manage gender dysphoria?

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