I don’t mind the name adapting stuff so much as I hate the concept of dead naming. I have many friends named Elizabeth, for instance. One goes by Beth, one by Betty, one by Liz, one by Betsy, and one by Lisa. All of these name derivatives seem to suit these ladies and I can’t imagine calling my friend Liz, Betsy, and vice versa. However in ZERO cases would any of these women freak out if I called them Elizabeth. No one would say Elizabeth is her deadname. If I referred to Beth as Liz, she would not say I had literally harmed her. The trans movement and the concept of “dead naming” has made all of this so fraught. My nephew doesn’t like his first name and has always used his middle name, but he wouldn’t completely freak out of someone used his first name and his parents aren’t despondent that he uses his middle name. I understand why some people want to play around with names. There’s just become so much handwringing on both sides because of all the BS around deadnaming. And yes I think a lot of the made up names or kids naming themselves after video game characters is dumb. Trust me, my daughter has a beautiful real name and a very dumb “preferred name.” I just know I would care less about the “preferred name” if it was treated as a true nickname—a playful name among peers. But when it’s treated so religiously by the adults around her, like it’s her religious conversion name, that’s what makes me really depressed.
When I suggest that some Tiffany’s might want to change my name, I certainly mean it in the spirit MomAtAnchor is discussing, where lots of us dislike the vibes of our names (whether gender-related or otherwise) and give ourselves a nickname. I would certainly hope our hypothetical Tiffany wouldn’t get upset if someone did occasionally use her given name.
And I don’t mean to suggest that breast size or name would have anything to do with one’s career choice or toughness. I just know that looking markedly feminine bothers me, and I can see how it could Really bother someone similar to me but with larger breasts.
I’d like to point out that, while breasts are feeding organs, that’s not all they are. They’re a source of joy and bonding and sexual stimulation for the woman who has them as well as her partners, male and/or female.
I don’t mind the name adapting stuff so much as I hate the concept of dead naming. I have many friends named Elizabeth, for instance. One goes by Beth, one by Betty, one by Liz, one by Betsy, and one by Lisa. All of these name derivatives seem to suit these ladies and I can’t imagine calling my friend Liz, Betsy, and vice versa. However in ZERO cases would any of these women freak out if I called them Elizabeth. No one would say Elizabeth is her deadname. If I referred to Beth as Liz, she would not say I had literally harmed her. The trans movement and the concept of “dead naming” has made all of this so fraught. My nephew doesn’t like his first name and has always used his middle name, but he wouldn’t completely freak out of someone used his first name and his parents aren’t despondent that he uses his middle name. I understand why some people want to play around with names. There’s just become so much handwringing on both sides because of all the BS around deadnaming. And yes I think a lot of the made up names or kids naming themselves after video game characters is dumb. Trust me, my daughter has a beautiful real name and a very dumb “preferred name.” I just know I would care less about the “preferred name” if it was treated as a true nickname—a playful name among peers. But when it’s treated so religiously by the adults around her, like it’s her religious conversion name, that’s what makes me really depressed.
When I suggest that some Tiffany’s might want to change my name, I certainly mean it in the spirit MomAtAnchor is discussing, where lots of us dislike the vibes of our names (whether gender-related or otherwise) and give ourselves a nickname. I would certainly hope our hypothetical Tiffany wouldn’t get upset if someone did occasionally use her given name.
And I don’t mean to suggest that breast size or name would have anything to do with one’s career choice or toughness. I just know that looking markedly feminine bothers me, and I can see how it could Really bother someone similar to me but with larger breasts.
I’d like to point out that, while breasts are feeding organs, that’s not all they are. They’re a source of joy and bonding and sexual stimulation for the woman who has them as well as her partners, male and/or female.
As a child I was so disappointed to learn that the breasts I would someday get were not extra protection against arrows.