We are hearing a lot about furries these days. There are stories about litter boxes in schools that have been debunked repeatedly, yet these stories keep surfacing. Is there, perhaps, some truth to them after all? Does anyone know? And does this possibility even have anything to do with furries?
Many within the “furry fandom” say being a furry is just a fun, creative, cosplay-type interest, and that it’s not inherently sexual. And yet, others would label it, not just sexual, but an entire sexual orientation!
Parents and teachers are observing that kids are calling themselves furries, and sometimes claiming animal genders at school. What is that about?
For this week’s open discussion, we encourage you to talk amongst yourselves about this issue. What are you seeing? How prevalent is this trend? How much is harmless fun, and how much is dangerous and deviant?
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It seems to me that Furries are somehow inextricably bound up with the changes to childhood since the 70s: the blurring of the boundaries between adults and children; the linking of sex and personal identity; the reorganization of childrearing around the authentic self (versus socialization). Children are thrust into the adult world too soon, and sometimes individuals never break with childish things, to the detriment of themselves and the children they project their own sexual feelings on to. It’s as there are a lot more Michael Jacksons around. It’s a sort of stunted sexuality. And that’s even if it’s adults cavorting naked in their green fox tail. It’s so hard to pass judgement today because that’s become the cardinal sin but I think we should be clear that this is not a lifestyle that should be validated or celebrated even if the people involved in it mean no harm. And I’m not at all convinced that they are capable of respecting boundaries.
It’s probably a bit different for young people. It might be more about having learned that all breaking of boundaries is good coupled with too much time online and too little time in the flesh.
That’s my thinking on it right now— and that leaves aside the whole issue of the aggressive fetishist, which is a serious problem for everyone but especially kids.
I have very mixed feelings about Furries. My 16 year old daughter is a classic ROGD kid, now mostly desisted (knock on wood!) She got into Furries maybe 9 months or a year before announcing her trans identity at 13. Her new "boy" name came directly from the Furry alter-ego she created for herself. I will never know exactly how much her getting into Furries had to do with her trans identity, but there seems to be enough of a link that it is part of what I see as the negative side of Furries. I think the Furry subculture and online presence is very gung-ho trans and some people do become over-identified with these fantasy personas.
On the positive side, it gave her a valuable way to express herself artistically. She made really impressive, professional looking Furry heads and other costume pieces from scratch and even sells some of them online. As a young woman, I worked at many different Renaissance festivals and I enjoy making and dressing up in costumes, and playing different characters, so I understand how much fun and liberating that can be, even if others find it odd.
I even attended a Furry festival with her one time and I would not have missed it for the world! I actually had a great time. However, I also would NEVER have let her attend without me chaperoning her everywhere in the hotel it was being held at. There was a sexual subtext to some of the fan art that I saw displayed and I met some people there that I wouldn't want to leave my daughter alone with. But, again, I have to compare it to my own Ren faire experience, which also has its unsavory side, but overall was a positive experience for me. I think there will just be pervy people in any subculture, unfortunately!
Now, at 16, my daughter considers herself Therian, but it doesn't seem to affect her daily life much. She is definitely not going around on all fours or asking to use a litter box or anything wild like that. She still enjoys making some of the costume pieces, but it seems balanced with other parts of her life. As I mentioned before, she seems to have mostly given up the trans identity (Hallelujah) and is a pretty normal teenager girl.
Anyway, that is my very long story about our experience with Furries. Like everything else to do with gender, I think it bears looking at in a nuanced way.